A Sort of Letter to Myself

I wrote myself a letter
A "How do you do?" letter.
"Where ya been?
What ya up to?
How's the weather?"
I didn't get much of a response...
Actually, I got nothing.

I persisted,
"How are you feeling?
Are you happy? Or sad?
Have you been busy?
Anything new?
Hello!! Are you there?"
Myself was slow to reply...
Her answers, whispers I couldn't make out.

Angrily I continued...
"Why are you hiding?
What's the deal?
Don't have time for me?
Open your ears!"

Myself retorted...

It wasn't pretty.

"Leave me alone!

I'm exhausted!

Get out of my face!

Go back where you came from!"

"Wow!" I thought,  "Not quite what I expected."
"You really should lighten up.
Things aren't that bad.
Where are you at? I'll come visit!"

With a huff and a sigh, myself caved...

"Okay, I'm here in the corner of our mind.

The chaos is overwhelming.

I'm just trying to weed through it all.

I feel attacked, on all sides, from every angle.

I can't see, our fears have flooded my sight."

There you are....
"Oh, how I have missed you.
Please come out and visit with me & I.
Let's just sit and breathe for awhile.
We've found a corner of silence, it's just what you need.
Can you hear it? No...over here.
Centered in our soul.
Get out of our brain for a moment."

Myself rolled her eyes in agitation...

"I can't do that. Too much to do.

I have errands to run.

I have bills to pay.

I have to fix this and that.

I have to solve the chaotic maze of hell! 

It's running our brain.

There's all that household crap.

There's all that family stuff.

The learning stuff.

It's a never-ending barrage to concentrate on!

Why are you two always slacking?"

I couldn't help but chuckle...

Which pissed myself off.

"You're so out of tune.

You have to take a break.

We need you here, present...to accomplish all of that!

Can't sit in silence without myself.

You're pulling us deeper in. 

Me & I don't appreciate that.

Please, just stop and sit.

The brain will be there when we are done.

It'll be calmer, I promise.

Then we can take care of the chaos together.

If we sit in silence,

It will be less

and 'we' will be more!

We have to come home to ourself!"

Sandra M Becker

Copyright © January 10, 2017