LIFE

Dear Teacher....

I came across this email from almost 3 years ago, June of 2014. It was the letter I wrote to the teachers, staff & administrators at the therapeutic day school Maggie attended. It was sent to them after her last day of school there. She transitioned back into district in time for junior high. I was sobbing as I read it. I thought I should share it as a thank you to all educators, administrators and support staff because even if no one tells you, YOU make a difference! NEVER forget it! 💜 Thank you for all you do!

June, 2014

Dear S.E.A.L. Administrators, Teachers and Staff,

There is nothing we could build, write, buy or make for you that would ever show our appreciation for the impact you have made in the life of our Maggie!  This chapter may be coming to a close, but there are so many more chapters to come.  No matter how many adjectives we think of, there are not enough to describe or express the range of emotion and gratitude we are feeling. We can call every single one of you magnificent, fantastic, spectacular, grand, marvelous, outstanding, sensational, etc. and it does no justice for your abilities and dedication. A million “Thank You’s” would never cover it! Everyone in your school community had a part in Maggie’s triumph’s!

This was not a road we ever wanted to travel.  It was never a place we even considered we would be. What made this journey the hardest was the people that gave up on Maggie that brought us to you.  We had serious doubts about S.E.A.L.  No one really had anything positive or negative to say about what we were embarking on.  We came in very scared on this journey. What started as a bitter trip has brought us to a sweet, yet sad, curve on this journey.

Maggie came to you out of sync, scared, angry and ready for a fight.  This has been a 3½-year crusade that I can honestly, without a doubt say you won, she won and we won!  Do you realize you won?  Do you look at it that way?  You did!!  On so many levels!  You won her trust, you won her respect, you won her appreciation, and you won her love!  This VICTORY is yours and I felt you needed to know it!  You NEEDED to hear it!

We hope that you never doubt what you do!  We hope you realize what an impact you make in the lives of special needs children.  We hope you see the success that you are!  What you did for Maggie is nothing short of amazing; you helped her find confidence, compassion, patience and understanding.  You helped her find comfort in her ability to control herself and recognize her emotions and to express them. You taught her both academically and emotionally.  You taught her to communicate, to ignore and to tolerate. You taught her as a whole person, not her disability!  You taught us, also!  You gave her more than we ever expected.  You gave her a community to be a part of.  You gave her strength and hope!  You never doubted her ability!  YOU molded her success!!

As we continue to blaze this trail with Maggie, we hope you keep her in your thoughts. We have a long way to go, with twists and turns and ups and downs, but I pray that everything you have taught and given her will keep her moving forward. I’m so VERY scared for her and sometimes doubt my decision to move her, but I know you are all there to fall back on if we need you! For that security, I am so thankful!  

We know she/we will NEVER forget you.  You are all a part of her life story! How awesome is that?  Magnificent Maggie Takes on Junior High….  (to be continued)! 

Gratefully,

The Becker Family

Copyright January, 2017
Sandra Murdoch-Becker
mycommonsensicallife.blogspot.com

A Sort of Letter to Myself

I wrote myself a letter
A "How do you do?" letter.
"Where ya been?
What ya up to?
How's the weather?"
I didn't get much of a response...
Actually, I got nothing.

I persisted,
"How are you feeling?
Are you happy? Or sad?
Have you been busy?
Anything new?
Hello!! Are you there?"
Myself was slow to reply...
Her answers, whispers I couldn't make out.

Angrily I continued...
"Why are you hiding?
What's the deal?
Don't have time for me?
Open your ears!"

Myself retorted...

It wasn't pretty.

"Leave me alone!

I'm exhausted!

Get out of my face!

Go back where you came from!"

"Wow!" I thought,  "Not quite what I expected."
"You really should lighten up.
Things aren't that bad.
Where are you at? I'll come visit!"

With a huff and a sigh, myself caved...

"Okay, I'm here in the corner of our mind.

The chaos is overwhelming.

I'm just trying to weed through it all.

I feel attacked, on all sides, from every angle.

I can't see, our fears have flooded my sight."

There you are....
"Oh, how I have missed you.
Please come out and visit with me & I.
Let's just sit and breathe for awhile.
We've found a corner of silence, it's just what you need.
Can you hear it? No...over here.
Centered in our soul.
Get out of our brain for a moment."

Myself rolled her eyes in agitation...

"I can't do that. Too much to do.

I have errands to run.

I have bills to pay.

I have to fix this and that.

I have to solve the chaotic maze of hell! 

It's running our brain.

There's all that household crap.

There's all that family stuff.

The learning stuff.

It's a never-ending barrage to concentrate on!

Why are you two always slacking?"

I couldn't help but chuckle...

Which pissed myself off.

"You're so out of tune.

You have to take a break.

We need you here, present...to accomplish all of that!

Can't sit in silence without myself.

You're pulling us deeper in. 

Me & I don't appreciate that.

Please, just stop and sit.

The brain will be there when we are done.

It'll be calmer, I promise.

Then we can take care of the chaos together.

If we sit in silence,

It will be less

and 'we' will be more!

We have to come home to ourself!"

Sandra M Becker

Copyright © January 10, 2017

Be

Just trying,
wanting to be.
Can you silence the negativity?
For a moment?
Let me be?
Searching the infinite path
between the illusion and the cosmos
for my place...
so I can just be.

Breathing,
in...
out...
ridding myself of the unanswerable's.
Sitting in the early morning dark,
waiting for the rise,
listening for silence.
Trembling hands
grasping my coffee,
awestruck.
Peace in my Soul.
Chaos in my Mind.
Evolving.
Trying to release
the anxiety of this world.
Breaking through the conditioning,
the ignorance,
finding, making new choices.
Breathing it all in.
Letting my Soul
guide me through the new terrain.
Exploring,
discovering,
needing the divine.
Just
be.


Sandra M Becker
My Commonsensical Life
Copyright © 1/2017